I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize