i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
