She's JV to your varsity
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
