It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
