Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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