$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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