I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
