how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
