so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
