i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
