Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
