mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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