I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
