oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
