Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
