I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think your dad took our porno
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
