O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you never un-have a 4some
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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