sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Too much gin, very little bucket
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
