Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
