And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
