the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
