look no pants
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
