They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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