I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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