i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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