he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Randomize
