CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
