you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
