Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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