we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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