I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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