Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
