Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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