You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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