I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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