I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize