Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
40s are totally the cure
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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