When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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