Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and she was petting her beer can
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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