that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
