another moral hangover. fuck.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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