she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
