are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
