So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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