I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize