hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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