i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
