Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
