on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Someone signed my nipple.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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