it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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