Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Houston, we have a squirter
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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