I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You made out with two different species that night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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