yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
