two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize