Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My cat gives me a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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