So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
