; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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