are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
