remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
